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Friday 29 October 2010

I Shouldn't Have Bought That...Oops...

When I look in my wardrobe, there are a few pieces that bring a massive smile to my face; sometimes it's because  I have fantastic memories of wearing it but for other pieces it's the memory of actually buying it that makes me smile.
I rarely buy my favourite pieces when I intentionally go on massive shopping trips, indeed the clothes I spend days fantasising about often get relegated fairly quickly. Instead it's what I buy when I don't plan to go shopping, or know I really shouldn't be buying something, that become my favourite pieces. It's something about that guilty decision; the knowledge that it looks amazing and will be thought about for months, if not years afterwards (words of experience here) if it's not bought immediately. Despite only having £37.50 in my bank account. And the oh-so-pretty shoes being reduced to £36. From £70. There just isn't a decision there to made.
I don't know what it is about the impulsive spur of the moment decision and the potential feeling of regret that makes purchasing such pieces so addictive. Perhaps it is emotional roller coaster felt through the handing over of money intended for rent that causes attachment to the clothes that I have bought in this way. Maybe the fondness I feel for them is akin to the unconditional love a mother feels for her new born, 4.30AM screaming baby...I go through hell for those pieces; verbally from my family who think I shop too much, physically from my stomach who complains about the cheap diet I feed it afterwards and emotionally from the fact that the money I spent is rarely mine, instead money given to me for the purpose of surviving. But I have to love those shoes, the jacket, the bag, because it came down to a 'reasoned' decision and I was certainly not wrong in my judgement or justification. The shop shelf is rarely an option on which to keep exquisite things; it's simply not fair.
A small part of me suspects that I impulse buy sometimes simply to make myself feel good. The knowledge that I can go out and spent monstrous amounts of money on unnecessary things (albeit with money intended for another reason entirely) is good. It's rebellious. The purchase becomes the best friend of the moment with whom I break all the rules. Until something else comes along. All the same, I fall in love with it. Although I know I'll move on, it will always have a special place in my heart, no matter what.
Of course there have been times when I've taken home bags of shopping, opened them up and scratched my head, wondering what on earth I was thinking when I bought the flimsy 'dress' that more strongly resembled a night dress that would only be seen on someone over the age of 60 with seriously dwindling eyesight. And yes, that did get a hasty return. But more often than not, my naughty little secrets become my friends for life.